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Tuesday, May 17, 2011

How can this mean anything to me?

When I really don't feel anything at all..



15 comments:

  1. Ugh … before I say anything else, I feel I should apologize for the overly fangirlish tone of my last response. My continued lack of sleep made me a bit more manic than usual. Heh I suppose I could just avoid posting when I’m that damn tired but you’re just too much fun to resist.

    Now that I’m feeling more collected, I’ve had a chance to think more about what you were saying about your dream and I started to wonder about your plan and motives… You say you don’t want Slendy watching her… You also say that you feel no remorse and that there’s something about her… Is it that you’ve discovered someone you want for yourself and you don’t want him tampering again? Or that you just don’t want Slendy getting what he wants? I can’t imagine that you suddenly feel … protective of someone.

    So aside from sharing some good music… What are you going to do now? As I said before, I’m sure Slendy will send more directions your way eventually but I doubt you’re the type to just sit around watching daytime TV while waiting for something to happen…

    In the meantime, here is something you should get a laugh out of:
    http://www.serialkillercalendar.com/
    I like their cannibal aprons, myself.

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  2. Don't mean to clutter up the comments area of your blog, but I just wanted to wish you a happy rapture day!

    Enjoy the beginning of the end dear ;)

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  3. Knitwolf- Clutter away. I can only hope it ends today.

    Until Next Time
    Me.

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  4. Aww you sound gloomy about it... Any particular reason why?

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  5. Knitwolf- I wake up every morning and the thought of this life brings the taste of vomit to my mouth. I hope for nothing more than to watch the entire world burn. I'm not gloomy. This is who I am.

    Until Next Time
    Me.

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  6. Not to be rude, but why haven't you killed yourself then?

    If you despise your own existence as much as everyone else's the why not end it?

    And on that note, I wonder how your philosophy fits with the love of your mother... You did claim to love her after all...

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  7. Knitwolf- You seem to be misunderstanding where i'm coming from. Just because I want the world to burn, despise the human race as a whole.. Doesn't mean I despise my own existence. I'm quite happy where I am. And I do love my mother, and my father.
    Until Next Time.
    Me.

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  8. Ah, I see... When you said "this life" I thought you were referring to your own. That was why I was confused...
    You know, I'm kind of glad that you're happy... I think I would miss you if you did away with yourself. You are fascinating to talk to

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  9. KnitWolf- You don't want to get involved with a guy like me. Don't say I didn't warn you.

    Until Next Time

    Me.

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  10. It doesn't matter anymore... I'm already in this up to my neck

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  11. Knitwolf- I'm afraid you're dealing with 2 evils here. You're having a really rough time deciding which is the lesser.

    Until Next Time.
    Me.

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  12. KnitWolf- 3 Evils eh? I don't like to consider myself "evil"... Who am I kidding really?

    Until Next Time
    Me.

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  13. Indeed... I wonder if you know what the other two are...

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  14. Okay… I have a few things to say while I’m actually feeling a bit more composed. I’ll try to keep this as coherent as possible

    I have been feeling really sick so I’ve been desperately trying to get some sleep.

    I had a dream about you on Wednesday. I dreamt I was watching you kill. I was circling around you as you went about your work. The victims kept changing with every death as I walked. There were some that screamed, some that went quietly and some that couldn’t scream if they wanted to because of what you were doing. I knelt down next to you but you took no notice of me… I don’t know if I could’ve stopped you, but I didn’t try. I just continued to observe as if I were watching a science class dissection of a frog…

    The thing is, that was the nicest dream I’ve had in a while and the most restful sleep

    Tuesday night I went to bed early. I remember waking up in the middle of the night, getting out of bed and going out to get some water. That’s when Slendy appeared. All I could feel was sheer terror and panic as I turned to run but everywhere I turned, he blocked my escape. I felt my body going numb and I couldn’t breathe. I woke up gasping for breath, in my bed, unsure if it was a dream or not.

    This was one of a number of nightmares and encounters I’ve been having. .. Some worse than others… which is why I don’t sleep much and why I don’t get any rest when I do.

    I feel that I should explain the nature of my dealings with him...I have a job to do. I create sweet little nightmares; cute Slendy dolls to spread his plague… and people ask for it. Even as I work on a doll for one person, another is asking for one… Another is asking to be marked.

    Again there is the ongoing battle between my lighter and darker half.

    The lighter half says I shouldn’t be here, that this is just making it worse. I shouldn’t be telling you all this. The darker half is addicted

    The lighter half says I should stop doing what he wants and that it would be better for everyone if I were dead, either by my own hands or his or yours. I don’t think I will kill myself though, because my darker half wants to live and live and live, to work with him and mark as many as possible because it’s fun in a non-sexual sadomasochistic kind of way

    Also, there are things that my darker half, and I’m pretty sure, Slendy wants me to tell you, and I’ve dropped hints and given you a path to follow whether it be of needles or pins (heh had to make the reference) but my lighter half doesn’t want to… doesn’t want to break my promise even if it might be better that way

    You have warned me about getting involved with you and I thank you for that but at this point I’m too sick and tired to care. At least I have a good idea of what you’re capable of, unlike faceless. At least I know you will let me rest eventually. Should you show up at my door, I won’t ask for mercy as I don’t feel I deserve it, but I may still fight just for the hell of it. It would also amuse me to know that you came all the way from Illinois just to end me.

    I think I’m getting manic and incoherent again…I’m sorry this is so long… I just didn’t know how else to say it. I’m not looking for sympathy, I’m just trying to explain a little more about where I stand in all of this

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